As a new financial year begins, many messages will talk about fresh starts, big plans and goals .

For those of us who might be struggling in any way, the emphasis on positive thinking and goals can feel disconnected from our personal reality. Life is rarely neat, totally controllable  or predictable, and our efforts do not always lead to visible or expected improvements.

If this past year has felt difficult, lonely, painful -or simply hard to get through at times, there is nothing unusual about that. If you have felt overloaded, overstretched and overwhelmed at times, you are most definitely, not alone. 

Instead of new year resolutions, I invite something a little easier…. 

This new year moment offers a chance to reflect, but without pressure. You might ask yourself: ‘what actually helps me, even in small ways?’ Pause for a moment and listen for an answer… it might arrive in the form of a thought or a word, an image, a feeling….or just a sensation,  maybe a knowing from within…just listen.

Or think about what kind of support you could reach out for, that would make the year ahead feel more manageable, rather than life feeling increasingly more demanding- maybe, could you put voice to your needs? Is it possible to allow yourself to delegate a little here and there, or to say No, rather than ‘yes ok!’ …when inside you’re screaming ‘No!!’ 

Is this the year to seek some professional support to invest in yourself - coaching or therapy isn’t just about talking, it’s about getting to know and understand the many parts inside of us, that are running our lives. 

For many, aiming for gentle progress feels more desirable and achievable than goals to strive for - perhaps finding your own language to advocate for yourself, either at work, or in relationships…..and rather than striving ( which can be so exhausting!), what might it help to let go of? How do you notice when it feels right or necessary to rest or relax, to slow down or switch off? - is it only after you are at the point of collapse?

I recommend aiming for tiny glimmers of change, giving yourself permission to pause and ponder, to really notice your own thoughts …. 

One small change could be making a commitment to yourself to make time to replenish your energy, and tend to your emotions and feelings- without guilt - these tiny shifts are real, and they matter… you matter. 

It’s not selfish to take care of yourself and nurture your emotional and physical needs, it’s an investment in your health and wellbeing. 

It’s an act of love.