Sue Weller
Counselling, Couples Therapy and Supervision
in Tunbridge Wells and Sevenoaks
Welcome to Sue Weller Counselling
Individual 1:1 and Couples Therapy in Sevenoaks and Tunbridge Wells
A confidential space to explore the thoughts, feelings and relationships in your life
Trauma informed Counselling, Supervision and Couples Therapy in Sevenoaks and Tunbridge Wells
Welcome – my name is Sue
"Lighting a lantern as you start your journey, creating pathways to safety"
Whatever has brought you here, therapy can offer a place to pause and be heard… a place to begin to make sense of what is happening for you.
Sometimes life can leave us feeling overwhelmed, stuck, disconnected or simply not quite ourselves. It may be that you are carrying the impact of difficult experiences, struggling in relationships, feeling anxious or stressed, or wondering why life feels harder than it used to – or harder than it seems to, for others.
We all need some support sometimes, and I have found that the key to working through debilitating emotional stress can lie within the quality of a trusting therapeutic relationship. I offer a warm, compassionate and thoughtful approach in a comfortable space, where we can slow things down and work at a pace that feels just right for you.
Together, we’ll look not only at what is happening in your life today, but also at any deeper patterns, past experiences and relationships that may be shaping how you think, feel and respond. I draw on my experience and training across a range of therapeutic approaches, bringing these together with kindness and without any judgment, tailoring our work to you, rather than following a one-size-fits-all model.
Whether your hope is to feel calmer, understand yourself more deeply, heal from trauma, strengthen your relationships or simply experience life with greater confidence and ease, I invite you to take a step- towards feeling different!
How I work: a little about me
And a little about me…...
My philosophy is centred around my understanding that the body, the mind and the soul are all inter-connected - rooted in interpersonal neurobiology and non-judgmental in my approach, I use metaphor and easy language to help you get to know yourself more deeply.
I enjoy applying the very latest developments within the psychology field of Attachment and also Trauma, and weave different approaches into my work (such as IFS -Internal Family systems theory) and according to the needs of each individual client and Couple.
I’ve always been curious about people…… what makes us tick, the stories we carry, what shapes us, the ways we learn to protect ourselves - and what becomes possible when we begin to understand ourselves with greater compassion.
I love those moments in therapy when something that has felt confusing suddenly makes sense; when a person or couple sees a familiar pattern in a new light, or finds words or steps forward for something they have struggled to articulate.
I’m particularly fascinated about how our nervous system works like a kind of protection that we’re unaware of. Sometimes our defensive responses are a little like carrying an umbrella that once sheltered us from a storm. Years later, the storm has passed, but we’re still gripping the handle so tightly that it’s difficult to notice the sunshine, or as it wears out, it blows inside out at the slightest breeze, or shuts down and is unavailable.
What can you expect with me? I bring warmth, openness and curiosity to all my sessions. I don’t believe therapy has to always feel solemn; there is room for humour, creativity and the unexpected. After many years as a therapist, I still find each person I meet endlessly interesting.
It is a privilege to accompany someone for a while along their pathway.
"We walk at the speed of safety – one step at a time"
Getting to Know Yourself
Introductory sessions offered separately, or as a mini-series of 3 – available to book for individuals, couples or small groups.
These sessions are provided in a light-hearted atmosphere, created to bring greater insight and understanding - from the inside out!
Befriending Your Emotions
A gentle, practical and light hearted Session, exploring how mapping your own nervous system can help you to respond and feel differently.
Understanding yourself from the inside out:
- Have you ever wondered why you say yes when you really meant no?
- Do you sometimes think clearly, but find you can’t speak up?
- Have you noticed that feeling self-conscious can make learning new things feel harder?
Explore how your own patterns of emotions can influence your thoughts, behaviour and relationships and then through mapping, discover some simple ways of responding differently, when old patterns take over.
Contact Sue to discover your own inner map that shapes how you feel, think and respond and learn to befriend your own emotions.
Befriending your Inner Critic
A gentle, practical and light-hearted session exploring how understanding your own inner critical voice can help ease mental exhaustion, soften unhelpful thought patterns and change the way you respond to yourself.
Understanding yourself from the inside out:
- Have you ever wondered why your inner voice can be so negative or pessimistic?
- Do you sometimes find yourself caught in arguments, overthinking or endless conversations in your own head?
- Have you noticed yourself saying things internally that you would never dream of saying to a friend, family member or colleague?
Our inner critic can be exhausting — but it often makes much more sense when we begin to understand where it comes from, and what it may be trying to do for us.
Contact Sue to discover through mapping more about the inner patterns that shape how you feel, think and respond — and learn how befriending your inner critic can help you relate to yourself with greater understanding and ease.
Befriending your Boundaries
A gentle, practical and light-hearted session exploring how understanding your own boundaries can help you make sense of your responses to others — and the way you relate to yourself.
Understanding yourself from the inside out:
- Have you ever wondered why certain people seem to ‘push your buttons’ — or why you sometimes react more strongly than you intended?
- Do you sometimes feel physically or emotionally drained by meeting the needs of others
- Do you sometimes find it difficult to know what you really want when someone else wants something different?
Boundaries aren’t just about saying ‘no’. They help us understand what feels comfortable, what we let in, what we hold onto, and where we end and someone else begins.
Understanding the different types of Boundaries are a gateway to better relationships - with yourself as well as others.
Contact Sue to discover the inner patterns that shape how you feel, think and respond — and learn how befriending your boundaries can help you relate to yourself and improve relationships with others.
How can I help you?
As an experienced and qualified Counsellor, offering sessions both in Tunbridge Wells and Sevenoaks,
I am here to help you to:
- Identify and explore stress, anxiety, fears and worries
- Deepen your relationship with yourself- and others
- Understand Attachment, and recover and heal from complex trauma
- Explore how your past is impacting on your daily life and relationships
- Develop or strengthen Boundaries
- Repair, or make sense of, difficult relationships
- Improve confidence and self-esteem
- Explore and recover from mental stress or emotional exhaustion
- Transform your relationship through Couples Counselling
- Revive or enrich your relationship with a one-off bespoke Couples Session
Couples Relationship Support
Therapy is about providing a space to slow down, illuminating hidden patterns driving conflict or disconnection, and lighting the pathway ahead to guide you back home to each other.
Find the relationship support that feels right for you both
Whether you’re looking for ongoing weekly therapy sessions or a bespoke half or whole day experience to pause, reset and reconnect, there’s a welcoming place here where you can take the first step forwards.
Couples Relationship Therapy
Sometimes we notice that the door between us feels shut, or stuck, and that we have lost our connection to one another……..
I specialise in supporting Couples, creating the conditions to help 'keep the door open' to each other.... through this doorway, communication is transformed and it becomes possible to repair, reconnect or revive relationships.
Connection isn't the absence of disagreement; it's the ability to remain emotionally reachable even when you disagree.
Reaching out for support can feel like the first uncertain step on unfamiliar ground. My desire is to help create enough understanding and emotional safety for each next step to feel a little more comfortable, and become a little clearer.
I invite you to contact me as you take this step to exploring the possibility of repair, renewal or reconnection through Couples Therapy - I offer a variety of options for meeting and before we begin, I take time to understand both your relationship and each of you as individuals. This usually includes a shared zoom assessment session, individual sessions with each partner, and a collaborative planning session so that our work together is tailored to your unique relationship, rather than following a "one-size-fits-all approach."
Reset and Reconnect:
Bespoke Couples Day
A custom half-day or full-day session designed entirely around your relationship. This dedicated, unhurried time allows you both to step back from everyday pressures to improve communication and make steadier progress together, helping you move further in one day than a series of weekly sessions often allow!
Bookings are now open for September!
Revive Or Repair Your Relationship!
- Do you need to repair or revive your relationship?
- Are you struggling with communication within your marriage or partnership/ relationships?
- Would you like to create a different vision of being in a brighter, closer future as a couple?
- Would you like to better prepare yourselves for Marriage, or Living Together?
- Is being -or becoming parents, causing a strain on your relationship?
- Are you feeling uncertain about a new chapter of life stage approaching?
- Do you desire a relationship with greater connection and honest communication?
As a one- off bespoke session, together we will take a deep dive into what needs improving, enhancing or changing within your relationship - this is different to undertaking longer term Couples Counselling. Many Couples find this a more convenient opportunity to spend focussed time together on their relationship -you may benefit from this right now - especially if your relationship has been suffering recently, or if you're rekindling or entering a new phase together. Follow up therapy sessions are also available.
I invite you to take the first step and contact me
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Anaïs Nin
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about how counselling works, or to arrange an initial assessment appointment. This enables us to discuss the reasons you are thinking of coming to counselling, whether it could be helpful for you and whether I am the right therapist to help.
You can also call me on 07976 532888 if you would prefer to leave a message or speak to me first. I am happy to discuss any queries or questions you may have prior to arranging an initial appointment.
All enquires are usually answered within 24 hours, and all contact is strictly confidential and uses secure phone and email services.
Frequently asked questions about counselling
Many therapists tend to view Counselling as ‘short-term’ work; when someone has a problem that can be looked at and discussed in a clearly-resolvable way. This work often requires undertaking sessions for a certain number of weeks, to explore, discover and clarify a way forward. Therapy is a word used more to describe ‘long-term’ work; discussion that tends towards substantial issues and things that might be life-changing on a deeper level.
Whether counselling or therapy work best as a short- or long-term option depends on the client though, and the difficulties they are facing. In some cases counselling can prove helpful as a continuing, longer-term option, or therapy can help resolve an issue in just a few sessions.
There’s no fixed or ideal length of time for the counselling process; it varies from person to person and will often depend on the depth of the issues they are facing. While I can work on an open-ended basis with clients, I find it is helpful for us to both agree before we start on undertaking a certian nunebr of sessions and reviewing where we are at once we reach that point. You are able to decide how long your therapy willl last, and in return my aim is to make sure therapy continues for only as long as it is of benefit to you.
This depends on what your needs are. Some people find that after only a very few sessions they have some clarity and focus and are ready to end the therapy. Other people value the ongoing support and relationship with me and will continue to come for weeks, months, or even years. There is no 'one-size-fits-all' when it comes to therapy.
My aim is to offer you a first appointment, known as an assessment session within 1-2 weeks, this is once we receive your completed client pack back. However, waiting times will vary according to pressure on our resources, your own availability and the service you seek.
An appointment to our short term counselling, which is not subsidised, can be offered within about one week.
Confidentiality is one of the main ways in which therapy differs from many other forms of helping - for example, talking to friends or family can rarely offer the same degree of confidentiality as talking to a counsellor. Because of this confidentiality, you will find that - as you get used to coming for therapy - you are freer to talk about whatever you wish to.
No therapist can offer 100% confidentiality: there are some situations where the law requires disclosure of risk (e.g. certain child protection issues) and in common with most other therapists, there are some situations where I may not be able to keep total confidentiality. In particular, if someone tells me that they are thinking of harming themselves in a way that I believe puts them at serious risk, or if someone tells me that they are doing something that could put others at risk, I may not be able to keep such information confidential. However, breaking confidentiality is rare, and only happens after talking to the person concerned.
When you come for counselling it's important that you feel free to talk about whatever is important to you. Sometimes, you may not be clear what those issues are. Having a friend or family member with you is not usually helpful because they may have their own agenda for you. Even if this is just that they want to be supportive, or want you to 'get better', this agenda can prevent us opening issues up. When you come for therapy, you may need to explore thoughts or behaviours about which you feel ashamed or embarrassed and you may censor yourself so as not to hurt someone, or you may find that what they want you to talk about is not really what you need to discuss.
Sometimes, family/friends can even be part of an underlying issue which needs to be aired and discussed. Usually, people who ask this question are nervous about coming for a session alone, or they are anxious for the person who is thinking about arranging sessions. This anxiety is quite normal, and you will not be forced to talk about anything you feel uncomfortable about - but you do need to be able to talk about whatever is important. For this reason, I do not see clients accompanied by friends or family